Shopping binge

So, now that I am in full-on diet mode, what's a girl to do to amuse herself and let off steam? I know....Let's go shopping!!!!

Great idea, except for that pesky lack-of-a-job issue. But I just couldn't help myself. (OK, I really could have, but the scales of deprivation can only take so much.) On Wednesday the dam broke and my skinny little wallet flew open and my poor overworked credit card came flying out.

I tried to stave off the shopping binge by spending a $20 gift card that we got as a wedding present. Got stuff for the house. Good girl. (OK a storage basket and wire shelf for the bathroom cabinet were maybe not the best use of our meager financial resources at this point, but it was what I wanted and damn-it-I-can't-eat-candy-anymore-so-get-behind-me-on-this-or-go-home.)

Then, when I coulda just called it good, my car somehow took me to the "cheap clothing store." This is a store that buys department store leftovers/returns and sells them for cheap. Quite a lot of the stuff is crap. Prolly 75% of it has rips, stains, broken zippers, missing buttons, exploded ink-tags, etc. But I have found enough good stuff that, like an asshole boyfriend who is way hot, I keep going back. And, like an asshole boyfriend, some times I go home disappointed and some times I walk out quivering with excitement and looking quite disheveled.

Oh, and did I mention I had resolved not to buy any more clothes until I have lost 30 pounds and reached my goal weight? No? Yeah, well...

I was pretty controlled with the binge, just skimming the racks instead of going thru everything. I ended up with 3 things and spent $38, so obviously it could have been much, much worse. But I still feel bad. I could have just not gone. That has been my way of dealing with my inner shopper since losing my job. I just don't go. But I feel off the wagon and I know the only reason I let myself do it is the diet. No more soothing with food so gotta find a new pass time. I don't wanna be fat, but I don't wanna spend money I don't have on shit I don't need either!!!!

So, here's what I got, 'cuz I know you all wanna know:

1. I got a new bra--the only thing I "justifiably" needed as the ta-tas have shrunk (boo!! hiss!!!) and I only had one bra that fit and was comfortable and kept them in the right position. I don't want to buy expensive bras til I hit goal (OK, I actually want a boob job after I hit goal, but that is seriously not even close to being a possibility at this point) but I do need more than 1 bra. I hang dry it, so there are times when I need to go out and literally have nothing to give me decent boobage. That was $8.

2. I got a Kathy-bag for $20 because it was missing the fancy dangly zipper-pull thing. I figured being the creative gal I am that I could create my own cool pull-thing. I have beads, wire, charms and chain. Of course, now I'm thinking of just buying a Kathy key chain if I can find one at the mall (using a gift-card from the wedding---Oh, the shame!) or buying one off ebay. Although I have never bought anything off ebay...I'm sort of a Luddite with some technologies and the PayPal thing weirds me out. The new purse is black, and I already have 2 other black purses. I guess that's what I feel the worst about. Time to sell the others, but that is such a pain. I paid $50 for the one and I know I will get about $5 for it, if I'm lucky. Grrrrr.

3. I bought a piece of "inspirational clothing." It's a clingy black sweater with cool fringy stuff in a size SMALL. (I'm currently a pretty consistent Medium.) I know they say to "buy things the size you are" but whatev... I have always done this and have pretty much always lost enough to get into said "inspirational" piece eventually so obviously it works for me. (OK, in all honesty there there were a few items that never made it into the rotation as they were out-of-style by the time the fit.) Actually, I could prolly wear this sweater if I was having a "skinny day" but do seriously plan to save it for next year. I can get it on and it fights everywhere except that the upper arms are a bit tighter than I like. (Plus I need to find the right belt. Man, that is one tenacious lil' shopper I have inside me.) The sweater was $9.

So, there you have it. I still feel sorta bad about the shopping-binge, but not bad enough to return anything. I am seriously going to track my spending for the month to make sure I don't spend more than my unempolyment check. God, this sucks. I actually want to get a job now...