Saturday, May 29, 2010

Going visiting

Tomorrow husband and I go for a long over-due visit to his parents. Whoopee, I'm not excited, for various reasons but the main one is the crap-ass food I will have to deal with. My mother-in-law is a big baker (cookies, cakes, pies, etc.) and has never meet a carb she didn't like enough to have intimate knowledge of. Also, his folks are cheap-asses who live out in the sticks and don't buy anything but canned veggies due in part to their miserly ways and in part to logistical factors. Fresh veg are not big sellers at the tiny local grocery store (they are lucky to get iceberg lettuce and tomatoes) and it's a 45 minute drive to a town with a Walmart. Meals at his parents are almost always served with rice, stuffing, peas or corn, and bread. I seriously believe that if the woman could somehow make meat into a carb she would do it.

I'm taking a huge salad and my own dressing (since they prolly don't have any) and some almonds. I refuse to break my low-carb roll for these people. Nothing they will have to eat will be worth deviating from my diet for. Even his mom's baked goods are not all that great. She is always fiddling with the recipes, leaving stuff out and subbing stuff and adding things like black walnuts that someone gave them for free. It ends up tasting like dry bland crap to me. (If I'm having a dessert, I want moist, chewy, gooey, sweat, creamy, tasty, inch-thick frosting, mother-fucking dessert! If your gonna tempt me, you better bring it so hard that I have a foodgasm when I eat and I know the next time I struggle to get into my pants that the extra fat you put on my ass was damn well worth it!)

If the situation gets weird over the food, I have half a mind to take them to school for the excessive carbs they eat. My MIL has told me before that she is "always hungry 2 hours after she eats." Well, duh, that's your blood sugar bottoming out after the rice-stuffing-bread-peas-potatoes-corn-starch-sugar-starch-sugar meal you just ate! (Oh, and did I mention she is about 70 pounds overweight?) But, there is another part of me that knows it won't do any good in the grand scheme of things and that I should just let it go. I'm betting that is the part that will win out tomorrow, but you never know. I may just grow a spine one of these days...

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