Shout outs

Hey all, I'm back. Got over my snit and have been sorta busy, sorta doing stuff other than blogging.

I have a lot to talk about, but right now I just have time for shout outs to blogland folks:

Auden, I can't comment on your blog since you changed to the new lay out. :( I really, really, very much want to do that Insanity program, but know I would just die. Seriously. Suicide by exercise.

K from Skinny, I love how your rational accountant mind works in relation to analyzing the "do I have a reason to be unhappy?" thing. I smiled while reading it. My mom is the same way (and she is also an accountant!) Many a time she has tried to reason me out of a depression. And I see your (and her) points and I know things are not as bad as they seem, but my creative, intuitive, and emotional mind just gets stuck on the badness. I can rationalize myself out of it for a while, but then I just fall back into that rut of sadness. Personality flaw, I guess.
And I understand about not knowing where to meet guys. After I graduated college, my prospects totally dried up. I don't have any advice other than to maybe try speed-dating. I toyed with the concept during a time when husband and I were not together (before we got married.) I liked it better than the internet thing as you get an honest visual and I can always tell within 5 minutes with a guy if I want to spend more time with him or not. If they have those things here in my little Kansas town I'm sure they have them in your big city. Unless they are now passe...

Harlow, aww girl. I'm glad you are getting help. I know I was part of the legions that told you how great you looked and how I admired you drive (and that is still true today) but I was also thinking that you really do exercise A LOT and that eating 300 cals a day is really just not healthy. I just want you to find peace. I'm in your corner whatever you do.

Lisalisa, thanks so much for the supportive comment :) I know you understand how much depression sucks. Can you (or anyone else) recommend any anti-depressant meds that don't cause weight gain? I took Prozac years and years ago and blew up like a balloon, but there may have been other factors at work. Thanks for reading me!

Panic at my disco

Yesterday my skinny friend tells me she wants to treat myself, my skinny husband, and her skinny boyfriend to a day at the water park soon. My reaction is immediate and total internal PANIC!! I will stick out like a sore thumb among these 3 twiggy folks. (A short, fat, cellulite-riddled thumb. Ick!)

So, do I come home and start a fast or go run for a few miles? Hell no! I order Chinese food an pig the fuck out. Great choice there, self.

Starting tomorrow I am keeping a food journal (done it before, hate it), tracking my calories, working out 2x a day, and drinking 2 litres of water--NO MATTER WHAT! I have to step it up if I'm gonna hang with these skinny bitches.